We all remember Episode 15 in Season 2 of The Simpsons right? For those that don’t, the episode is called “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?”, in which Homer discovers he has a long-lost half-brother called Herb. Herbert Powell owns a car company called Powell Motors. He views Homer as the archetypal common man, who really understands what the average American wants in a car. So he invites Homer to design such a vehicle that could compete with the Japanese (this was 1991 when that might still have seemed like a possibility). It’s very funny and is essentially a parody of the Ford Edsel.
The car Homer designs includes every feature he can think of that appeals to him. He puts it all into one design in a way that only Homer could. Whether it should be there or not. Ultimately the car is a failure and bankrupts Powell Motors. Yes the Simpsons is a cartoon designed to amuse, but I consider this cautionary tale to be a lesson to anyone designing a product. I think about it often.
So here is one of my Homers. It was never released, so I never named it, but looking at it now I think it deserves to be called something like the Omni Gauge 2000XL. Other suggestions welcome in the comments.
At the centre of the tool was a protractor, because we all need one of those. Then I had a metric scale and an imperial scale on two edges. A series of circle templates and radius guides on the corners, a centre finder and a series of bevel gauges. Because we might need all those things too. At the same time.
One of the great benefits of laser cutting is the immediacy it brings to prototyping. But that is also the trap, because you can realise crap ideas very quickly. Once a physical artefact is in your hands, the object can become a little hypnotic. You can start to convince yourself people actually need it. Believe me I’ve travelled that road a few times.
Almost without exception, tools that try to do too many things end up doing none of them well. Or one of them well, with a collection of never used add-ons. Ultimately I came to that realisation on this one and drowned it in the metaphorical river.
No-one needs this tool and it should only exist as a talisman to protect me from future shit ideas. Although there is a rumour of a mythical second device that was actually the original one true gauge to bind them all. But I’m saying nothing about that.
I seeing a red anodized aluminum version for the low low price of $339.00
Designed a beautiful consumer object. Portable; carried out the task perfectly; truly a work of art. It took thousands of total hours for several people.
That nobody wanted to produce, because it wouldn’t sell.
Try not to fall in love with every clever idea you have. Because once in awhile, your clever idea is actually a stupid one. Ask me how I know.
(If anyone wants to invest in my next genius idea, the Electric Edsel 5000, text me: ‘K??)